Tuesday, September 16, 2008


When I look at you
I see myself happy and content forever
When I look at them
I see myself loved and pampered then
When I look in the mirror now
I see myself confused and disappointed
wondering how I reached here
wondering where to go...
knowing one path will give me your love and their hatred
where probably I'll lose myself forever
The other will let me remain me
I'll have everything and everybody like today
but without your love I'll suffocate
living for others... living just a life
I know what to do
and where it'll take me
I have known for a long time now
but somehow today when the choice is before me
I'm scared and alone
Perhaps this is a crossroad
and I'll be fine whichever way I go
but I'll always live in one thinking where the other would have led me
I'll still be alone in a different world


sawan said...

athi, i am quite disappointed with the emotional irony projected over here! you describe yourself as an unpredictable person and yet your words here are most predictable! i know for sure that whatever comments one write on a post like this would be considered as nasty, and yes, i dont intend to be consoling or supportive on my words - simply because we dont share an emotional bonding! my anonymity is surely my advantage over here when i raise my words of "wisdom"! your last few posts have followed a pattern - a sense of break-up, whether in real or fantasy. the crossroad mentioned is quite a common junction where most of the yougsters hav burned a joint atleast once in their life! ask me and i would say to choose the road which gives you the comfort of your family- current not future. but yes, my words have limited sense 'cos i have zero idea about the emotional bonding you have with ur family and this one guy - vice versa included.

if you read books, do consider reading SPOUSE by Shobhaa de. and for god's sake, if you take a decision, dont look back - it makes no sense! you dont wana mess up with ur life, do u?

my wishes with you. take care.

athi said...

i knoe evrytin sounds predictable here.... a junction wich most of face in one or d odr sense.. bt der r sum angles to d story unprojected here... dats wot makes it a mess... n bcos it hasnt happnd bfor it dusnt make it less painful.. does it?

N bot being unpredictable, m not unpredictable in words...most of us rnt.. v r all influenced by ppl or events around us n so m I. its just dat m not predictable in actions :D

sawan said...

words well said :-) does writing really help u find answers to ur questions? or does it relax u from all those stress or how does it affect u? jus curious to know!

athi said...

wen ppl leav comments :), wen ppl talk to me bot d posts, it makes me thk more bot diffrnt ppl's perspectives. I dun post to luk for an ans to my ques...its just dat writin bot it makes d situ real...n wen u r no longer imagining things ,u realise u hav to do sumtin bot it. So in sum sense yes, it helps u find a sol. N well, i love to write, its lik giving way to all ur thoughts.. n der s so much i want to say dat sumtimes dis life dusnt seem enuf :)