loving

'We that are true lovers run into strange capers; but as all is mortal in nature,so is all nature in love mortal in folly' Shakespeare ,d true romantic in As you like it.

Few acknowledge love, like Ajay who wudnt n cudnt stop lovin...as if his life depended on it. Der ws a problm tho. He loved evry gal. 'I havnt dumpd a gal in my entire life. Can u blive it? Poor me.' Yes he s being rly honest u ppl.D gals dumpd him, evrytime ,wen dey wud find out bot d odrs .N den der ws Deep who had Cupid's arrow permanently stuk thru his heart. Bt he ws d innocent,loved only one gal at a time. D gals always dumpd him. Y? Bcos he ws too nice. N too predictable. Roy loved trees,birds and animals. N cudnt bear d sight of one being exploited. Weird ideas, bt wel dats love too.Sana loved d guy nxt door. She cudnt stop tinkin bot him altho he ws goin out wid anodr gal.She wud spend days n nights cryin silent tears. Hemant ws hopelessly in love wid his math lecturer. It strtd wid a smal crush..bt nw he ws obsessd n she ws gtin married.Love hurts many.Love makes u do silly things.Bt love s love.Der s nodin even remotely lik it.My heart goes out to dose poor souls whose lives hav been constantly eluded of love.

Sum r consumed by crushes or if u happen to b somewhat 'cool' evn affairs in school. Bt college s wher d real romance begins. Wid d entry of freshers evry year,begins d love affairs dat wud rule d college gossip charts for d next four yrs , in rare cases love dat lasts a lifetime.D guys gang hangs outside d college gates often sittin or leanin on deir priced bikes wid pride,chests swelled in anticipation of al d gals to b joinin college dat day.D gals often nervous bt pretendin indifference,begin d painstaking task of walking thru dose closely guarded gates.Sometimes wid sucess, bt wen sum silly guys begin deir morning raga wid 'Tu cheez badi hai mast mast ...' types it bcomes humanely impossible for ne poor gal to supress herself. Containing her laugh, wen she smiles, hearts bloom.Thus paving d way for a one-sided romance wich wid constant hits n misses , for sum lucky few grows into real love, very often limited by time constraints.Sum however r happy indulgin in d war of eyes.Relaxing in d canteen, pretendin to b talking to a circle of friends wen eyes r forevr in a battle of words,furtive glances on d corridors...true, dese times r priceless.For some love begins n ends conveniently wid d excursions. Hang out, have fun n den well,forget, move on.N yes, create gossip.Bt oders revel in keeping deir secrets locked safely in deir hearts forever, often fazed by peer-ridicule,more often by fear of rejection.Dese locks r seldom broken aftr years by inquisitive spouses or curious children.

Bt poor r dose who nevr fall in love- in experiences,emotions n definitely adventure.In most Indian families, falling in love n choosin ur spouse by urself, is still a nightmare for d parents. So most obedient children avoid d less traveled path.Also d frend circle often puts a full stop to love. Or dey simply buckle under d academic n professional pressure n give up d easiest ting to giv up, love. Well, its quite late in deir lives dat dese poor guys realise wat dey had bin missin on. Some quite as soon as dey realise it, put an end to singleness. Oders wander around theatres,pubs,discs n d desperate evn at supermarkets to find deir special ones.Sometimes dey strike gold. Some simply grow old and by dis time, al d gud ones r taken. Dey wait for deir parents to find d right match, its only wen dey go spouse hunting dat dey realise d harsh reality of limited choices. Der had been so many varieties to pick from in college. Wat d hell ws i doing den?Perhaps i shud hav just lukd once at dat gal who kept eyein me in class. Or perhaps i shud hav askd out dat gorgeous projectmate.Hmm... too late bud. So if u hapen to b readin dis blog n realise bfor its too late...go fall in love. Dun plan to find nebody bt if u do,dun look away. If not d prize, d experience s definitely worth it.

d spirit

tws a luvly lazy aftrnoon.evryone had left for d weekend. very less souls wer left in d hostel. d unlucky few who cudnt escape,cos dey dint live clos by.d unluckier whose parents wudnt let dem come home 'in college u r suposd to b studyin on d weekends. time to make ur future' dey sed.N d unluckiest who dint hav enuf money to buy train tickets. And had too much self respect to go around asking for d bucks.

So der v wer, d four of us, gtin bored to death.D series wer approaching bt who has d faaltu time to study. N den u r not xpected to study on a weekend...are u.No.So dat option ws quickly put to rest.Even having a system in your room ws no relief. Hw many times can u possibly hear d same songs,watch d same movies,play d same games. Oh n us gals r not blessed wid d knowledge of understanding CS wid birth lik d guys. Der wrnt evn any new movies to b watchd in d city.Aftr a long unintrstd discussion bot wat s to be done we finaly decided on a fav subject.'Lets call d spirits' Anju suggested.'Oh yes' d oder three crooned. We had had many experiences of d same bfore bt only of watchin d procedure. D privelege of touching d coin once in a while wen d seniors got up to take a leak or had an imp fone call to make ws rare.So der v wer, trying to call d so called spirits.I had least hopes of seeing anythin worthwhile.

My room ws chosen for d deed ,it being d regular meeting point of our batchmates.All d oder rooms had seniors as wel.So mine ws d only juniors room. Tws d last on d first floor, to d left. Der wer big windows on two sides, since tws a corner room,a privelege therefore unavailable to d odr rooms. We chose a place on d floor,next to my bed and Anju strtd meticulously drawin a rectangle wid small grids on four sides.By d time tws done, I ws almost asleep. Shy shook me alive and wen i opened my eyes, d room ws pitch dark. Anju, Shy n Cher wer sitting on d floor around d rectangle wid a candle lit in between. The sun had amlost set n der ws a little moonlight streamin in thru d windows. Also d corridor lites had been switched on so dat sum 40 W bulblite came in thru d door edges. I quickly took my position on d floor. D small grids had been filled wid alphabets on three sides and numbers on one. Der ws a circle in d centre, a small one where d candle had been placed. Nw Anju tuk a one rupee coin, n tilted d candle so dat d hot wax wud fall on d coin, n den stuk it to d coin. Den d candle ws placed in d circle and a steel glass, mine, ws upturned on it. 'Come keep ur hands on d top'Shy urged. Reluctantly,me and Cher joined dem in keeping our finger tips on d top of d glass wich ws nw burning hot. Painfully, bearing d heat on our index fingers, v chanted'Good spirit passing by,pls come'.after wat seemed like eternity,i felt a tug on d glass. Shocked I opened my eyes. I saw d oders awestruck too.Only Anju ws calm, bt den she ws d brave one wen it came to handling spirits. We cud feel d coin strikin d bottom of d glass,pulling it out of d circle. I ws tryin to understand wedr tws for real or I ws imagining it.Anju ws in deep conversation wid d spirit.she enquired its whereabouts and den proceeded to ask questions bot our future. Most of d answrs it gave, by draggin itself on d letters,were haphazard. Anju sumhw had an xplanation to evrytin,she put togdr d jumbled letters to meaningful sentences. 'Wow,so dis rly wurks'I ws amazed.D converstaion went on for long. Shy enquired bot her love,marriage n wedr her parents wud consent to guy she chooses.Cher ws more intrestd
in knowin wedr she'll clear d cat.I had nodin particular to ask so I jus enquired bot random events in d future.Den Anju asked 'whos gona get placed first'. A T H I , d glass dragged itself on d letters.

I hurrayed and den ran out of d room,along d corridor, down d stairs,out of d hostel, to d mess,to pick up my glas of milk,for wich d warden had been impatiently brawling for ages. 'D milk s cold' I mumbled. She gave me one look in d eye n I turned around 'Its k. I like cold milk more.' She snatched d glass n tuk it to heat 'U gals dun let me sit down for a minute. Y cant u all come at d same time...'d AIR strtd. I picked up d steamin hot glass brimming wid milk,holding it on d eges,tugged my mobile n charger wid d odr hand, wich I had left for chargin in d mess dis aftrnoon, and den walkd towards d hostel building. Suddenly d whole place plunged into darknes. D power had gone off.I stood der wid d glas in one hand and mobile in d oder,decidin on d nxt course of action. First I thot of going back to d mess,den decided oderwise n switched on d torch of my cel n edged towards d building.As i climbd d last step of d stairs, I saw someone wid wild long curly hair open running towards me screaming. Shocked,I dropped my milk and ran down d stairs, d figure closely followin me,out of d hostel n den i saw tws Shy. Swearing at her,I asked bot d oder two. 'D spirit s still in der. Its not goin. We hav to go n help dem' she cried. All d courage dat I'd summoned , melted away wen I opened d door of my room,Shy at my toes. D poor two wer sitting on d floor, deir fingers on d glass chanting'good spirit,pls go'. D spirit refused to listen n d glass continued to move randomly across d letters,drivin us crazy.

In a moment of pure impulse, Shy shot forward, grabbed d glas n d candle,and threw it out of d window. 'Shit' screamed Anju. 'Stupid. D spirit wun go lik dat. Twil b in dis room'. D power came almost instantly. 'Tanx a ton. Nw i'll hav to change clothes in my room knwin a spirit s watchin me'. I swore. ' Wat if he s young n gud lukin' Shy retorted. 'Hmmm... dat wud b nice'. Evryone strtd laughin. 'anju, r u sure u dint drag d glass' Cher asked. 'No i dint. I swear'. Anju shook her head n pinched her throat. Der wsnt any furder speculation since evryone ws tired and we all
hopped on to d bed to sleep.

So der d spirit stayed wid us in d room,watchin us bathe,clothe,sleep n dream. But how d glas moved n wedr d spirit actually came ,still remains a mystery.D only ting wich tuk me by surprise ws d fact dat I ws actually d first to get placed in my batch. And wel der wer sum oder coincidences too. Coincidence or not, who knoes..

d meetin

tws a hot evenin in d city. he ws waitin. der ws a traffic block.many shops had been demolished cos dey wer growin onto d road eatin up d already narrow city road.she must be stuk sumwer in d block he thot becomin impatient by d minute.

she ws in a hurry runnin down d staircase feelin guilty takin two stairs at a time.der had bin a fight at home.ma had sed lets go to d hospital bt she ws late.. der ws no way she cud keep him waitin any longer.d pain ws unbearable bt she had to go.

dey wer meetin for d first time. der had bin long intimate conversations on d fone. she had cin him frm far at a concert recently. he ws dancin away to d music. she wantd to hold him.der ws sumtin very pullin bot him.bt he ws btw his frnz. she cudnt talk to him. she jus gazed longinly.

nw ws d time she had bin waitin for, d meetin. she caught an auto. he ws calin. she din knoe wot to say.7 misd cals. finaly she cald him bak n sed m stuk in d block jus comin. he sed waitin s a gr8 feelin.. she kept mum. d auto halted at d busstop. she climbed out n cald him agin. der ws an array of buses . she cudnt c d odr side of d road. tws getin dark. den she saw him. she ran acros d road. he din seem angry.she ws releivd.dey smiled. wot hapnd he enquired. i fell down d stairs while runin to c u. he smiled agin. killer smile. d theatr mus b full nw he sed. v ll go chek neways. he tuk his bike.she sat behind him.tws nly bot 30 metres to d theatr.der wer a lot of vehicles parkd outside bt not a person to b seen. t had bin 45 mins since d show strtd. d gate ws closed. he parkd his bike. she waited. his stride evn dat ws sexy.he cald out to a man inside. he sed show strtd long bak u can go. v hav tickts he sed. gate opened. try goin up n talk to d man der. he mite let u in. he lukd at d watch den at her. wot do v do? can v go sumwer els? wot time do u hav to get bak? 9 9.30 she mumbled. lets go sum odr place. dey strtd walkin out. den she caught him by d hand. wer to? he din knoe eidr. lets go bak n try gtin inside she sed. dey ran bak. d man upstairs sed wait i ll b bak. he tuk d tickts. finaly dey entrd d balcony. der wer a lot of vacnt seats. he walkd to d back seats. she went in first. he sat next to her. d last line ws almost empty. tws cool. dark. romantic.purrfect.his hand ws touchin hers. his leg ws grazin hers.tws lik a dream. dey talkd.she din hear most of d tings...lost in d flin of bein wid him. his face lukd so cute. she wantd to touch him. crosd her hands to keep in control.can v forget evrytin n start anew? he askd. she sed yes. she held his hand for a minute promisin bt tuk bak immediately scard to hold a minute longer.she ws struglin to keep in senses. d effect of him near to her ws lik a drug sendin her to a high she nevr knew xisted. hw can i b so crazy? she wondred.
for almost 15 minutes she kept lukin at d screen knowin d movie ws gona end....decidin wedr to ask him to hold him or jus hold him lik dat. wudnt dat b weird? she din knoe. she kept thinkin. d movie ws over. he cald lets go.

d fake

Here I burn
assaulted by life
d blunders bluffed me
to a death
unknown to humanity
I plunge beneath
wicked love woos my soul
spare me
let me live
I cry n lo! I fall...
thru deceptions yet again
dis time d razors saw deep
dis time d INSIDES bleed
dis time I stop
hung btw d real n fake...
n here m forsaken
to live d dead's life...
forevr...forevr...