Classic love stories would end more often with ‘And they loved happily ever after’. Modern love stories chip in reality with love and give you ‘And he lived happily ever after with his true love’, more often the other woman, not the wife. Well but the question really is ‘Is there really an ever after?’ Is something possible forever?
Change, we know is the very flavor of life. With change we learn, we grow. A closed bud knows not the perils that future beholds. It is but necessary to open up, blossom and wither away. Then why should love be forever?
Haven’t you wondered is it possible for a Landon to love a Jamie with the fervor he did (A Walk to Remember)? Is there a kiss that bonds you forever, like the kiss between Noah and Allie (The Notebook)?
Often every relationship starts beautifully, the sort of love that ‘Mills and Boons’, movies and fairytales infuses us to believe will last forever. However that seldom happens in real life. Most first relationships don’t last, mostly because you are too young to be strapped down then and no one is then ready to realize how much one has to give to the relationship to make it work, more often they don’t take the effort to make it happen.
I’m not talking about virtual relationships, where one assumes to be in a relationship with another. I’m also not talking about two timing and all those other complex forms of relationships that exist between people. Those sorts are too hard to be dissected on this page now, maybe at a later time when my head is more muddled up than now, I’ll write about it.
I’m talking about a relationship where a man and a woman realize and are fully aware that there is something brewing and are mature enough to accept it and allow it to grow. The tide washes in when you expect it to live forever. But expectations cannot be put aside, nor can hope for an ‘ever after’, the sole thread which ties us to a sane life. It is intelligent however, to expect for an immediate tomorrow and not an ever after. Love doesn’t really have to be forever. And that is good because you shouldn’t cling on to something when it becomes meaningless.
Allow yourself to be painted red and white alternately and allow those drops of green, black and yellow to wash over you at times. Let life take you, do not drive life. Sometimes however, it becomes necessary, I agree, to take control and set things right, but do not continuously drive it down the smooth concrete road you have built ahead. You will definitely be in for a heart break! Let go!
'Ever after' love is the sort of love that can change from lust to love to longing to need to habit to a hope for ‘ever after’ and can switch forms back and forth. Love is undying, it just changes its meaning now and then. Deal with it and have a great life ever after ! :P
Monday, June 1, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Flavors of Life
-my contribution to my office magazine 'AADAAB' which was never published cos the edition itself got trashed :P so what! I got my own space here! :) Got published as the next month's edition :P
Flavors and aromas. When I saw the mailer from Aadaab I thought it was a joke. Now what do I make of this peculiar topic and that too it being given so much importance as to eventually become a theme for the next edition. Wow. The content managers must be out of their mind. But after I had let the feeling sink in, I could fathom the rush of thoughts that those two simple words could evoke.
When I asked a friend what comes to his mind on hearing the phrase, he immediately said he could associate a girl standing with a cone of strawberry in her hand. Some imagination. And another friend said he could think of the smell of a woman. A woman? I was surprised. But his explanation was extremely satisfactory. He said there are smells you associate with a person. When you like or hate somebody your mind registers the smell and then you tend to like or hate that smell. And similar smelling things or places arouse memories of the person intended. Interesting. My best friend told me it reminds her of temples. The lingering fragrance of flowers offered and freshly burning incense in the air. In a place like India where flowers are used abundantly in decorations, offerings and adorn women, most of us can relate to that thought.
Now coming to what I make of the phrase. There are some scenes I must relive now.
A village in Kerala. Smoky chimneys. Dusty roads. Cow dung mixed with water sprinkled on verandahs quite liberally. This doesn’t really smell good but it is considered good omen. They actually do it every morning. Ripe overgrown heavy mangoes fallen down because the tree is no more able to bear the weight of its produce. Now this smells heavenly. And hence you can see the squirrels and birds gnawing and pecking away to glory and ants making the long trails carrying tiny bits to their anthills. Here most of the nature is still undisturbed and allowed to thrive. There is a peculiar smell associated with villages that only people who have visited can remember. It is also something you won’t forget.
Paranthe wali Gali, Chandni Chowk, Delhi-6. Ok. this also happens to be a rap song by Akshay Kumar. But the gali is a world in itself and no song can ever do justice to it. The gali is history, right from ancient princes to Mughal Emperors to elaborate wedding processions the gali has witnessed time. I personally recommend the ‘Power of the Paranthas -- Pandit Gaya Shiv Charan’ shop (claimed as first among the lot in 1870s). The board is an impossible miss. The lights, antique shops, ethnic jewellery, the street is teeming with life. But what distinguishes it from the rest of the neighborhood is the aroma of the kaju (cashew nut) stuffed, exotic filled paranthas served with flavored tamarind chutney, mint chutney and melt-in-your-mouth pickle. There are even banana fillings in addition to the regular bhindi (okra), karela (bitter gourd), methi (fenugreek) and mooli (radish) stuffing. A plethora of flavors and aromas that.
A bustling city. People rushing on their daily routine strewn all across, suddenly silenced by the thunder and lightning. Power cut. A city itself halted. The power of nature is huge. Times which remind us that there are some things that we can never control or predict, and yet these times are beautiful. The aroma of rain is not something I can put down in words and I wouldn’t try a fake attempt. But the memories that the smell brings, of love, family get togethers with chai and steaming pakoras, maybe. A family content of being together, a rare treat for urban families. Children running out, adults hasting in. Rains are the best gift of God and must thoroughly be thanked for. Especially because it reminds us that time exists and must be accounted for not just with money but with joy.
Flavors and aromas are not just two words. They are two senses which we use incessantly though not consciously. Next time try and associate a place with its flavors and aromas, probably you‘ll get a head of this article. Good smelling and tasting ahead!
Flavors and aromas. When I saw the mailer from Aadaab I thought it was a joke. Now what do I make of this peculiar topic and that too it being given so much importance as to eventually become a theme for the next edition. Wow. The content managers must be out of their mind. But after I had let the feeling sink in, I could fathom the rush of thoughts that those two simple words could evoke.
When I asked a friend what comes to his mind on hearing the phrase, he immediately said he could associate a girl standing with a cone of strawberry in her hand. Some imagination. And another friend said he could think of the smell of a woman. A woman? I was surprised. But his explanation was extremely satisfactory. He said there are smells you associate with a person. When you like or hate somebody your mind registers the smell and then you tend to like or hate that smell. And similar smelling things or places arouse memories of the person intended. Interesting. My best friend told me it reminds her of temples. The lingering fragrance of flowers offered and freshly burning incense in the air. In a place like India where flowers are used abundantly in decorations, offerings and adorn women, most of us can relate to that thought.
Now coming to what I make of the phrase. There are some scenes I must relive now.
A village in Kerala. Smoky chimneys. Dusty roads. Cow dung mixed with water sprinkled on verandahs quite liberally. This doesn’t really smell good but it is considered good omen. They actually do it every morning. Ripe overgrown heavy mangoes fallen down because the tree is no more able to bear the weight of its produce. Now this smells heavenly. And hence you can see the squirrels and birds gnawing and pecking away to glory and ants making the long trails carrying tiny bits to their anthills. Here most of the nature is still undisturbed and allowed to thrive. There is a peculiar smell associated with villages that only people who have visited can remember. It is also something you won’t forget.
Paranthe wali Gali, Chandni Chowk, Delhi-6. Ok. this also happens to be a rap song by Akshay Kumar. But the gali is a world in itself and no song can ever do justice to it. The gali is history, right from ancient princes to Mughal Emperors to elaborate wedding processions the gali has witnessed time. I personally recommend the ‘Power of the Paranthas -- Pandit Gaya Shiv Charan’ shop (claimed as first among the lot in 1870s). The board is an impossible miss. The lights, antique shops, ethnic jewellery, the street is teeming with life. But what distinguishes it from the rest of the neighborhood is the aroma of the kaju (cashew nut) stuffed, exotic filled paranthas served with flavored tamarind chutney, mint chutney and melt-in-your-mouth pickle. There are even banana fillings in addition to the regular bhindi (okra), karela (bitter gourd), methi (fenugreek) and mooli (radish) stuffing. A plethora of flavors and aromas that.
A bustling city. People rushing on their daily routine strewn all across, suddenly silenced by the thunder and lightning. Power cut. A city itself halted. The power of nature is huge. Times which remind us that there are some things that we can never control or predict, and yet these times are beautiful. The aroma of rain is not something I can put down in words and I wouldn’t try a fake attempt. But the memories that the smell brings, of love, family get togethers with chai and steaming pakoras, maybe. A family content of being together, a rare treat for urban families. Children running out, adults hasting in. Rains are the best gift of God and must thoroughly be thanked for. Especially because it reminds us that time exists and must be accounted for not just with money but with joy.
Flavors and aromas are not just two words. They are two senses which we use incessantly though not consciously. Next time try and associate a place with its flavors and aromas, probably you‘ll get a head of this article. Good smelling and tasting ahead!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Engaged?? Why?
Engaged?? Why? Suddenly? And arranged? Are you nuts? So here I spill the beans.
I’m at a juncture of life when I have been wild and crazy and impulsive and its not that I don’t want to be all that again or will never be, but I’m glad I have found someone who I feel will be glad to do all that with me. And that truly is a blessing! I have met men, been with them and the harsh reality is almost all men are chauvinistic, its just that some men’s chauvinism hits you sooner and with some it takes time to surface.
My man is not very different from all men, but I love the fact that he loves me for what I am. I‘m very strong willed and its such a relief that he is not intimidated by it, but is glad that he doesn’t have to think for me. Wedding is due next year. Long engagement. Fun at times, also sad cos we stay far apart and don’t get to see much of each other. But it has been worth the wait. Its more like I have found a partner not a spouse :) and that’s ulti-cool. And yes, I'm glad he has a life of his own, very much like me and they overlap frequently but do not coincide.
Also my respect for arranged marriages has gone up. But I still strongly believe that you should be in it cos you want to be, not for any other reason whatsoever. And yes, I want to be here now.
Gushing through the thrills of a long courting period. And have to get back to my daily life...what with all the ceremonies and travelling... it’s been one heck of a month. Will start writing soon… no inspiration as of now and still recovering from the shock of finally getting committed. ;)
As scary as 'forever' might sound...
Sometimes some things should be forever and the beauty is in the timelessness !
Sometimes some things should be forever and the beauty is in the timelessness !
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