the magic called rain

The first rain is always magical, the mud wet with the fresh scent that pleasures not one but all. The farmers looking forward to a great harvest, the children in the scorching heat, the trees, birds and animals thirsty and almost dead ...rain brings so much relief and happiness and the promise of great days ahead. It evokes love… hope. It enthuses emotions or perhaps it reignites them. It draws captive picturesque scenes... the kids playing in the rain, jumping in puddles, the trees shivering, umbrellas turning upside down when the wind pulls you along, people running to take shelter, and yet people running out to the windows to catch the rain in their palms, the mess, the suddenly unorderly traffic. Rains come unexpected and turn everything upside down. It is one of the times when you realize that you can sit and organize your life but some things are always unplanned and yet beautiful.

I have lot of lovely memories of rain like all of you. Some extremely special. I got my first pet during the rains, a rabbit, I ran with him outside to celebrate, forgetting he would get cold and spent the rest of the day nursing him. But his first rain caught to him, we loved rains, me and him. We would sit and watch the rains in the verandah. He loved tea like me and we would drink loads. There is something about a hot cup of tea, pakoras and rain. It’s a heavenly combination. It’s the sort of gratification that a hundred other important or more productive things can’t give you. I met my first crush too in the rains. Just a glance, walking in the rain, me struggling with the umbrella, he getting wet, I almost stared him down and he just turned around straight at me and smiled. Caught unawares, I walked away haughtily, heart thumping but its an innocent moment come and gone and you keep looking for it all your life in vain. Our school farewell was a sad cold rainy January day but all of us were walking around in sleeveless and backless cholies, ignoring the chill, capturing in our hearts the last day of school. In Noida where I grew up, the rains were rare but strong and hails were quite common with the rains. I remember running out with an umbrella with my friends, to the road, which would turn white by then to collect the hailstones and then store them for days in the refrigerator. The stones were white, rounded and clear. Rains in Kerala are beautiful especially because its already so green and lush ,when the rains add to the color, everything looks so rich. In Trivandrum where I did my engineering, it would pour every other day. We would wait hours outside the college gate waiting for buses which wouldn’t stop and autos which wouldn’t move, and chat endlessly, cold and shivering. Those were precious times.

It is a hot day today and it will be another two three months before it starts to rain, and I just can’t wait. Aquarian. Water being. Love water. And Impatient. So it kind of makes things worse. So till it rains, I should probably get distracted with other things.

The rain shall come
And then shall I dance...
On the wet mud
Sinking and glowing...

Rains come and go, but they leave marks that can’t be washed down in a thousand after pours.

the night of the golden statuette

I am glad that Rahman has won the Oscars, if not for an Indian Film, but for a film made about India, whether that is real India or not is another matter altogether. Though I don’t agree that ‘Jai Ho’ was the best of the lot. I love Lathika’s theme and the Escape. Gulzar’s lyrics have always been amazing, but its great that he is being recognized on an international stage. I’m actually surprised with Resul Pookutty’s success. Except for the night of the Oscars, I had never even heard that an Indian technician other than Rahman had been nominated, but that’s because we were perhaps following Freida Pinto’s designer wears? Lathika was mediocre, but Freida definitely stunning. Finally Indians have a sense of fashion, I was praying she wouldn’t end up in a saree to show the so called ‘Indian tradition’ like the likes of Shilpa Shetty and Aishwarya. The dress was though a little too angelic, although apt for her lovely smile, it added years to her, she could have tried something more young and bold.

I was disappointed with Jennifer Aniston though. She looked brilliant with that hairdo, but where was the catfight we were all waiting to see? Have we reached the stage of smiling at the woman who steals your husband right under your nose? Hmm.. Guess ‘moving on’ is the rule of the day. And John Mayer looked so cute. Angelina looked a million bucks with her eye popping emeralds and that with the black dress 10 on 10. Brad Pitt looked stooped and perhaps sidelined by an overwhelming partner. And if those spilt rumors are true, then Jen is definitely having the last laugh! Hugh Jackman started the show on a great note, the item witty and amazingly choreographed, there was so much order, the flow from one scene to the other was beautifully done. I think he’ll stop getting ‘Wolverine’ roles now, but he has a lot of scope as the next hero of ‘Enchanted’. Penelope Cruz looked princess like in the vintage gown she was in. Oh.. and Amy Adams multicolored beaded neckpiece was actually creative. Anne Hathaway’s back brooch impressive. Heath Ledger was perhaps the most deserving winner of the night, his family truly looks quite close knit and warm. I guess it’s great to leave and still be remembered so much. Rahman’s and John Legend’s jugalbandhi bit was a masterpiece. I loved the last piece when the five former winners were called on stage to present the best actor and actress awards. Some nomination announcements were genuinely moving. Sophia Loren’s low cut frills was uncalled for, a sad attempt to look young. Meryl Streep, the lady is so enchanting, I really thought she will win, though the awardee in fact quite deserved the honor, after being nominated five times for extremely endearing performances. I love her in ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind’. Sean Penn’s speech was awesome, I actually thought he was emotionless, he even forgot to kiss his wife.

I’m not sure if they’ll be telecasting the whole show again, but if you do get a chance, do watch it. A very sophisticated and stylishly done show. Hollywood is after all Hollywood.

the metals

dedicated to a beautiful team of extremely beautiful people :)

The colors were blinding that night…
the darkness fading...
The voice held all captive
The gold compelling on stage...
the silver shimmered
The green surprisingly potent
the rust anxious
The blue mellowed
the pink cutesy
The brass rambled...
the grey twirled
The bronze rehearsed
the black mesmerized the onlookers and us... one fumbled...
The togetherness raw but convincing
We changed something in the air that day...
We added a page to our lives...
A page we would go back and wonder over... smile and giggle about...
That is fashion for us... inherent yet labored

birthday hues

As another beautiful year passes by, I'm not sure if what I feel is elation at a very productive year gone by, professionally and personally satisfying, or is it the fear that probably I’m getting older. Twenty three is the time of your life when you are neither here nor there. You are working (mostly) and hence you are ahead of the stage when you can do small talk, hang around irrelevantly, do weird and crazy things, you can but you are not forgiven as easily as during your teens, and you are also at the stage when kids start finding you uncool, since you probably can’t relate to a hundred things they say. It’s also the time when people (importantly parents, relatives and neighbors) start expecting you to be responsible, independent financially and otherwise, when you are expected to be sensible and sensitive and what not. Twenty three is hard on anyone. Especially if you are single. Finding a boyfriend/girlfriend is hard now, finding a spouse easier. You are beyond the stage when you would want to hang out with someone for the sake of it (since you probably have done all that), you would much rather have some peace. And you might want to give yourself a break from all the lovey-dovey tangles and think about you for a change. Twenty three is also the point when you have ‘freedom’ in the real sense of the word. Me, myself, my work, my interests... these are the priorities now. And that’s good, isn’t it? It is nice to be able to do something cos you really want to and not because you are expected to. Like studying cos you want to, and not cos your parents keep pestering you to, save money cos you want to, for yourself, hang out with friends when you want to without having to explain yourself to a possessive boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. So yes, although I’m nostalgic about my school and college, the times when small things could give you intense pleasure, I know it’s the sort of time I would want to go back for a day, not forever. I’m happy at the timeframe that I’m in. And I’m excited about what will come.

Thanks to all my friends who wrote to me, called me and wished me on my b’ day... It means a lot to me, really.